Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Bathroom Battle

I came home from my class at the community college, anxious to use the facilities... and attempted to use the kids' bathroom. I could not bring myself to do so. Worse than the public restroom at the park after the Fourth of July; I was apalled. Wastebasket overflowing. Toilet bowl growing algae. Seventeen almost-empty bottles of shampoo and conditioner in the shower. Also of note was the fact that whoever used the hairspray in there appeared to have been missing their actual head, and for quite some time now. I had to draw the line at the sticky goo buildup reaching a third of an inch in thickness on the floor.

Hey, the Health Department would have shut it down, had it been in a restaurant or hotel. Why not do the same? I locked the door from the inside, closed it from the outside, hid the key in my husband's desk and posted a sign that said, 'THIS BATHROOM IS CLOSED. GO OUT BACK. FACILITY WILL NOT REOPEN FOR USAGE UNTIL CLEAN. - MANAGEMENT.'

One by one they came home from their various locations of employment or education, bladders bulging, and were more than a little disappointed.

We were happy to allow the three teenagers the use of our master bathroom; for a small fee. Our oldest son,the Passive Agressive Rebel, just walked out the door and drove downtown to the library to use the restroom and grab a book. The two younger teens didn't fare so well; they picked the lock and cleaned the offending areas; while they did so I could hear them whispering back and forth to each other, 'what's the deal with Mom, she's never done this before...?' and, 'Don't know. She's crazy.' Nevertheless, crazy Mom or not, I once again have a spotless master bathroom. There is indeed a method to my madness.

My mother used to say, an exhausted tone, 'just wait until you're the mom'....followed by a pitiful sigh. Once again, she was right. Except for the sighing. This is actually turning out to be a lot of fun...

No comments:

Post a Comment